… especially in today’s economic climate.
No. But yes. Well, especially because there’s a prospect that I’m going to need to very soon prepare yet another bullshit civilian office resume, which just makes me want to take some pills and retire to my chambers, holy fuck. The thought of that prospect makes me want to barf out of my eyes.
The thought of getting another day job to pay some bills and keep me afloat in vodka money doesn’t necessarily bum me out; it’s the fact that after 5 fucking years of laying down groundwork in this country, I’m still unable to be gainfully employed in my field… THAT’S the goat-getter in this scenario.
I was speaking with my mother last night, as one does when one needs some subjective assurance, and she brought up a valid-although-not-reassuring point… “how many people do [I] know that ARE making somewhat of a living doing this”… the answer is 0.0 - no one that I’d consider from my ‘class’ of comedy, anyhow… i.e. people that started approximate to when I did… we all need to hack it at something to pay the bills…
She then brought up the suggestion that I might want to go back to school and asked how I felt about that… I said that going back to school was an option… just as suicide is an option… because quite empirically, it is. I’m not likening the two. I’m just sayin’.
At any rate, it’s little mood/circumstance-dips like this that I so envy people like Nick ‘Gruber’ - Calvin Klein’s former-amateur-gay-porn-star-TURNED-model-that-he’s-bankrolled-plastic-surgery-to-mold-him-in-his-own-image boyfriend. Oh, how in times like these I loftily dream of being a kept man, having a bottomless money pit of a patron to fuel my artistic endeavors in exchange for bouncing up and down on him bi-weekly.
Plus, I’d get thrown opulent birthday parties with perfectly DUMBFOUNDING guests lists like this bitch had recently…
Yes… that is Nick, his suga-dad-day CK with Donna fucking Karan and Ingrid Sischy next to him. JOKES! Other pics are viewable at Michael Musto’s column here. Daphne Guiness: also there. Alec Baldwin: also also there. Anna Wintour: THERE. CRAZY. And my God, they are all very aware that they are being photographed at Calvin’s piece’s birthday party and are none-too-happy about it. How exactly DOES one coax Anna Wintour out of her bat cave to a birthday party for their houseboy? I mean, that is some fucking pull.
Anyballs - the whole thing makes me LOLZ a lot.
So maybe I wouldn’t want to enter into a contract with an older gay gentlemen whereby I have to undergo plastic surgery to replicate a younger him… but there is something to this ‘kept’ thing. I think Camille Grammar has had the perfect life…
She started out dancing to hot late-80’s/early-90’s beatz on Club MTV (a show that I was THOROUGHLY obsessed with when I was a sexy gay kid), married super-rich to TV’s Frasier and is living out her Lunesta-popping 40’s in style as the Real Housewife du jour. The world is her oyster. Mazel Tov to you, Camille.
But mainly, I just wish I was on Club MTV for SUPER OBVIOUS REASONS.
—- Aj
