Tuesday night I went a one-off edition of the AltComedyLounge here in Toronto called “Comedians of YouTube”, which is just the most moronic oxymoron, isn’t it? As everyone on YouTube is a comedian, aren’t they?

Formula: Wrangle a show’s worth of Canadian YouTube sensations (well, as sensational as one can be in Canada), have them perform 5 minutes of valedictory stand-up in front of a captive audience and show one of the videos that they’re [relatively] famous for.

Naturally, the place was rammed. Full of who I assume were fans and virtual friends that flocked to see their YouTube personality of choice manifest itself in the flesh for one night only. And the crowd didn’t look like what I’d expect it to - which is to say socially-retarded RPG conventioneers who’ve disabled their mirror neurons… they looked normal-ish, for the most part. I was also stunned by the relative lack of Smartphone usage at the show - I’d say it was only slightly more than usual - given that’s how these people process thought, let alone communicate…

I’m sure some people would overanalyze the evening saying it was this new phenomenon or frontier that these people have mastered and it’s where we all need to go - more than a few comics who were there to watch went home and attempted vlogging, no doubt. I don’t think it was that at all… it was a good old-fashioned valedictory-style standup showcase. No different than when some 18-year-old open mic-er stacks the place with their friends. The appeal was that basic familiarity. Only difference is, the people on this bill can cast a wider net.

The comedy was textbook amateur. The first guy up was maybe the only one who’d been to an open-mic before, and that was the extent of his abilities. Although I don’t remember his name and didn’t investigate him further, I was told he had 29,000 subscribers or something, which, sure, is confounding to me based on what he did that night. Just very green, amateur stuff. “I stutter. This is how it relates to me getting girls. This is how it relates in me getting into fights. Here’s my obligatory amateur-white-male-comic rape joke. Goodnight!” He did fine, as the audience was captive and polite. Had it happened on a normal night at the Rivoli, it likely would have been met with silence. Fine…

The second guy up was probably accountable for most of the audience. A turban-sporting brown bro who swaggered his way to the mic and might as well have read the phone-book - it wouldn’t have mattered. Proceeded to do an auto-biographic set that included more than a couple accent impressions. He then screened a video from his channel entitled “Shit White People Say To Brown People”. Soooo, yeah. I think what I took away from watching him was that there is still a gaping, GAPING dearth of entertainment for first, second and third generation east Indians! Like, COME ON… how has no one in an executive position not clued into this shit? They are STARVING for representation of themselves and will pay to see it! Get on the fucking ball, people!

The next guy up - the last one I stayed for - didn’t have as easy of a time, finally. A fratty, meathead type who was YouTube famous for competitive eating. He came out, did some material on “how does one get into competitive eating” that clunked, soaked some foodstuffs in water and ate them in one bite, then showed a video montage of him at various eating contests underscored by metal, all met by a very tepid reaction. I’m told he later tweeted, “just killed it at The Rivoli at the Comedy Central show”. Hmm.

So that was that. The takeaway? Who gives a fuck - it is what it is. It’s a scene that I’m not on top of because I’ve busied myself with honing a live act. And it’s funny, because often times higher-up’s and people in executive positions will offer up the advice to ‘get more of a web presence’… when I’m told that, it’s like on American Idol when Paula would tell obliviously gay auditioners to ‘try Broadway instead’. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but I appreciate your boldfaced complacency… have a nice day to you, too!

It’s really bizarre, because at the end of the day - and what was evident to anyone there that was familiar with the anatomy of comedy - there’s never going to be a substitute for a skilled, live performance by people who know how to do it well… it’s always going to be a million times more effective and rewarding for everyone… yet it’s these people that exist in a vacuum that are at a premium. If you actually programmed a bill of actually competent comics for the audience that showed that night, it would have been the best night of everyone’s fucking life. Really cray-cray, y’all.

All we can do is optimistically say that there is never going to be a substitute for a live experience done right and that the pendulum will swing back around as historically, it always has.

Wrong horse to bet on? Quite possibly.