Anyballs...

So, just to clarify - being racist is a taboo UNLESS it’s...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 20:27:42 -0400

So, just to clarify - being racist is a taboo UNLESS it’s on twitter, right?

Today was maybe not the best day of @DebraDiGiovanni ‘s life. What happened to Debra today?...

Thu, 31 May 2012 22:58:56 -0400

Today was maybe not the best day of @DebraDiGiovanni ‘s life.

What happened to Debra today? Well, Debra woke up to a barrage of messages informing her that a picture of her, serving disgruntled blue steel holding a peeled banana under a headline that says “Must Women Act Undesirable To Be Funny?” was in The National Post. I think I’d rather wake up to find a crazed opossum gnawing on my taint, but that’s just me…

I’ll start out VERY CHARITABLY giving the benefit of the doubt… like the much-maligned “Post-Gay” statement piece in The Grid in and around this time last year, it’s primary sin was oversimplifying something that wasn’t so simple. In both cases, that ‘something’ happened to be a community of people that identify strongly with their culture, but if you’re not on the inside, it’d probably be very easy to generalize. To researcher Danielle Deveau and reporter Sarah Boesveld, it’d really be no different than them reporting on car salesmen or surfers as a group… I might wager that the whole women in comedy “debate” over the past couple of years probably made them err to the opinion that this would be newsworthy, but still, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt that their main fault is being uninformed and that this wasn’t personal…

Now, if I *WASN’T* dispensing with benefit’s of doubt’s…

I’d say that Danielle Deveau is a traitor to her gender desperate to make a name for herself, and that Sarah Boesveld is just one dumb, lazy, shady cunt.

Point of it aside, it’s clear that neither of these assholes did their research… In terms of Boesveld (more like BOOOOOSveld, am I right?), neither Debra, nor the fabulous Nikki Payne, or Rachel Dratch were actually contacted for comment or counterpoint… it was just less-than-blog-worthy generalizations that all Debra talks about is chips and 95% of Nikki’s act is humping a microphone… plus, this context-less photo and caption of Rachel Dratch -

While, based on this article, the scope of Danielle Deveau’s crackerjack field research was one fucking trip to Just For Laughs. I believe a young upstart that Deveau unearthed named Joan Rivers was also cited to back up her argument. It must have been exhausting doing the absolute minimum of basing your thesis on the first page of google results for “female comedian”…

Seemingly, the point of this article is that the only comedy mechanism women can use to compete on a standup comedy stage is self-deprecation. Which is bullshit - that is a universal tool that every comic uses. EVERY COMIC. Here’s something I’ve noticed: people don’t want to laugh at someone aesthetically superior to them. Without fail. Every single comic - even those that are debatably attractive - does it to a degree, which by the way, is the same extent to which Debra and Nikki do it - TO A DEGREE… it hardly defines their acts!

Then, this:

And it links back to a theory by American humour scholar Joanne Gilbert that stand-up can be used by “marginalized individuals and groups as a means of gaining power. In this case, women - the minority in the stand-up comedy world - can hold the floor and make people laugh by playing up the reasons they might be ostracized and folding that into their act, Ms. Deveau said.”

Ha. Okay. Number 1.) Women are no longer the minority in the stand-up comedy world… gay men are, kthxbye, 2.) No comic gets into this for some Jean Valjean voice-of-the-oppressed-people bullshit, mmmkay… each and every one of us gets into and stays with this for one reason and one reason only: REVENGE. And it is a case by case, individual-like-a-snowflake, personal mission by every comic - male, female, gay, straight, black, white, midget, non-midget, what have you.

Of course this - AND MANY OTHER INACCURACIES IN THIS ARTICLE - could have been clarified if you, y’know, included talking to a single fucking comic in your ‘research’.

I thinks it’s hilarious in the way that “Groundhog Day” was hilarious that we still need to have this discussion. Why are people - and in this case, what I presume are young-ish women - SO insistent on challenging the “are women funny” argument?

All in all, my issue with this article isn’t the point it’s trying to make - it’s that it’s made so, so poorly and was written in a spirit of pure bitchy, shady, cunty insult. It didn’t come off as a hypothesis, it came off as a judgement call from two people who likely believe that they could do what Debra or Nikki do, but wouldn’t need to ‘resort’ to what they do because they’re self-actualized 21st century ladies who can HAVE IT ALL!!!

It wasn’t even ten years ago that in comedy clubs, open mic nights that Deb or Nikki would have started at, that the de facto intro for a female comic was “Now, there aren’t a lot of women in comedy… mostly just sluts and whores - and here’s one of ‘em! Please welcome _____ _____”. The fact that Debra, Nikki and a slew of other ladies, those unfortunate enough to still be in Canada and beyond, frequently DESTROY everyone else on the bill is… well, to say the least, not exactly the mark of someone who needs to ‘strategize’ with self-deprecation.

In conclusion - TRY HARDER AT YOUR JOB!!!

- Aj

Carly Rae Jepsen shade at 09:16

Thu, 31 May 2012 10:39:12 -0400

Carly Rae Jepsen shade at 09:16

Two very 90’s things about this: Peg Bundy imagery and the...

Wed, 30 May 2012 16:38:49 -0400

Two very 90’s things about this: Peg Bundy imagery and the use of the word “she-male”.

Terrific.

Also - anyone seen this? Any good?

Ladies, are they right?

Tue, 29 May 2012 10:57:51 -0400

Ladies, are they right?

Performing photoshopped plastic surgery on photos on this...

Fri, 25 May 2012 15:37:16 -0400

Performing photoshopped plastic surgery on photos on this supposed new breed of “interesting looking” runway models really makes me miss “The Swan”.

My number 1 fan and I have really been having a moment…

Thu, 24 May 2012 23:12:17 -0400

My number 1 fan and I have really been having a moment…

More fan-mail!!! I’m very happy this video is finally...

Thu, 24 May 2012 16:13:06 -0400

More fan-mail!!!

I’m very happy this video is finally attracting the right kind of attention.

“Welcome back to Toronto, Andrew!”

Wed, 23 May 2012 19:41:03 -0400

“Welcome back to Toronto, Andrew!”

Have you listened to this all new podcast with the inimitable...

Fri, 18 May 2012 16:39:45 -0400

Have you listened to this all new podcast with the inimitable SHARRON MATTHEWS yet? Because you should. It contains information about Cady Herron dying at the original end of “Mean Girls” and hob-nobbing with a pantsless Elaine Stritch in her hotel room at The Carlisle. AND SO, SO MORE.

HERE: http://bitchsalad.libsyn.com/episode-23-sharron-matthews

And on iTunes HERE: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bitch-salad/id465015191

Shannon Doherty should have an LCD screen installed on her...

Fri, 18 May 2012 15:35:52 -0400

Shannon Doherty should have an LCD screen installed on her tombstone showing this gif in lieu of any engraving.

Let’s all of us grow our pubes out and orgy it up to this...

Thu, 17 May 2012 12:56:00 -0400

Let’s all of us grow our pubes out and orgy it up to this lesser-known Donna Summer-ian sex smash.

Of note: the xylophone solo at 5:28

First Whitney, now Donna. I’m not having the best 2012,...

Thu, 17 May 2012 12:12:27 -0400

First Whitney, now Donna. I’m not having the best 2012, all.

It will sound like and is the gayest thing ever, but Donna Summer was my out and out jam when I was kid. My mom had a greatest hits collection, “Endless Summer” (one of MANY greatest hits collections titled with seasonal wordplay) and I must have ground that compact disc down to a ringlet.

The world’s supply of stardust suffered quite a setback today.

Rest in Fierce, Donna Summer.

NOT SummerS. Do her the grace of pronouncing her name right.

Also - I know what you’re thinking: “does this mean we can expect a megamix”? Perhaps. But I’m going to New York this weekend so it’ll need to wait.

GPOYW-I can’t Ally McBeal-ieve I’ll be in NYC in...

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:08:14 -0400

GPOYW-I can’t Ally McBeal-ieve I’ll be in NYC in just 3 more days!

NEW PODCAST!!! With Kristeen Von Hagen & Kathleen Turner...

Fri, 11 May 2012 11:41:00 -0400

NEW PODCAST!!! With Kristeen Von Hagen & Kathleen Turner (sort of)!!!

Download it HERE: http://bitchsalad.libsyn.com/episode-22-kristeen-von-hagen-kathleen-turner-sort-of

And subscribe on iTunes HERE: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bitch-salad/id465015191

It’s a relatively decent time to be alive! Andrew celebrates Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage and ties a foreboding bow on the conversation by speculating that he’ll be assassinated for doing so… PLUS - Why John Travolta is the PG&E to one Californian lawyer’s Erin Brockovitch and why a class-action suit revolving around H-J’s is so amazing… and FINALLY - VH1 Diva’s 2012: A Tribute to Whitney Houston almost doesn’t need to happen anymore as Andrew gives a detailed blow-by-blow of who should sing what….

THE BITCH: Andrew recounts - with pirated audio recording - an evening spent with dynamic she-beast KATHLEEN TURNER!!! What was in her backstage rider? FIND OUT! What’s this I’m hearing about her and Lauren Bacall play a demented vocal limbo with each other? FIND IN!

THE SALAD: Andrew sits down with the very been-there, done-that KRISTEEN VON HAGEN to dish on her long, storied, cross-continental trajectory in comedy from starting out in BC to being part of the original Spirits crew, her first break, being packaged as a Gen X postergirl, swimming in Russel Peters’ pool of gold coins, living in a continual comic dormitory PLUS - remember that year the Canadian Comedy Awards didn’t want to pay women because “men needed the money more”? Kristeen does.

Two powerhouses of stage and screen together at last!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Fri, 11 May 2012 11:28:32 -0400

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mind is blown.

Was this just Mink Stole doing a random performance art piece?

This is all that matters right now.

Thu, 10 May 2012 12:40:41 -0400

This is all that matters right now.

Well, kudos, US Gays. Daddy’s finally cool with you coming out. The nation is drunk on...

Wed, 09 May 2012 16:11:39 -0400

Well, kudos, US Gays. Daddy’s finally cool with you coming out. The nation is drunk on paternal approval for a fleeting second. Huzzah’s all around. Was it REALLY necessary?

I always thought it was assumed that Obama totally DID side with the gays but couldn’t actually pronounce it politically until after his presumed second term whereupon he would federalize the shit, twisting the arms of all those pigfucking bigots in the south, then get assassinated because of it and turn into the great martyr of his generation.

This really throws a wrench into the plan.

Where I’ll be and who I’ll be with, tonight. Am I...

Mon, 07 May 2012 10:14:00 -0400

Where I’ll be and who I’ll be with, tonight.

Am I worried that an hour spent in close confines of her voice will amount to the equivalent of sitting on a dryer for two days? Absolutely.

butterflynet: you can get addicted to a certain kind of...

Sat, 05 May 2012 12:27:52 -0400

butterflynet:

you can get addicted to a certain kind of sandwich