#FirstWigProblems
This is the Drag Race rundown I just gave Heidi.
Don’t worry - it contains no spoilers, just my first-take of this season’s batch of queens.
General sentiment of this season - SO MANY FAT CHICKS. Like, I’m not even kidding, HALF OF THEM are plus-sized queens… And Ru was right when she editorialized that it’s a very GaGa inspried neo-drag group… here’s my rundown of them from top tier to bottom tier:
Tier 1
Chad Michaels - Oldest queen (40), and a renowned celebrity impersonator, (apparently/obviously) primarily Cher. Has a very surgically pumped up face. Probably a big bag of tricks, will probs go far.
Kenya Michaels - Puerto-Riccan pseudo-midget with a lot of spring in her step and some obvious moves. The fishiest one in an otherwise VERY land-roving group, as it were.
Latrice Royale - She’s either going to go far or bottom out early on. She’s like a 6’7” 400 black queen who’s been to jail and looks terrifying, meant in the best possible sense.
Sharon Needles - THE WINNER. Hands down. Holy shit - she’s AS amazing as we speculated. Two things I could see working in her favor: some Marilyn Manson-realness and the fact that her drag is SO specific, it might box her in i.e. Ongina. That said - SHE CAME IN WEARING A WITCHES’ HAT IN THE INITIAL MEET-&-GREET.
Second Tier
Lashauwn Beyond - Bitch can SEW. I thought her outfit was unbelievable, and was really surprised the judges weren’t over the moon about it. That said… tsk tsk tsk… child didn’t know a.) what ‘apocalyptic’ meant or b.) how to pronounce it (“Acocaclyptic”)…
Phi Phi O’Hara - Probably has more to her than the first episode let on, and is also the most attractive boy hands down. Came off as nothing more than a shady bitch the first episode out of the gate… that said, I probably felt similarly to Manilla after the first episode as I do about her…
The Princess - Interesting looks, but is like a second-rate Sharon as far as I’m concerned… could end up being very low-rate after a strong early showing a-la Phoenix…
Milan - Serviceable black queen. Doesn’t stand out right now, but who knows.
Bottom Tier
Dida Ritz - Black tranny hooker a-la Akashia from Season 1. Great body and flare, but needs to get it TOGETHER.
Jiggly Caliente - A mess. One you sympathize with, but a fucking MESS.
Madame LaQueer - Plus-sized old-world queen who came in wearing a Paige Davis wig.
Alisa Summers - I don’t even remember who she is.
Unto Their Own
Willam - This season’s Shangela. That’s it.
Chad Michaels - Oldest queen (40), and a renowned celebrity impersonator, (apparently/obviously) primarily Cher. Has a very surgically pumped up face. Probably a big bag of tricks, will probs go far.
Kenya Michaels - Puerto-Riccan pseudo-midget with a lot of spring in her step and some obvious moves. The fishiest one in an otherwise VERY land-roving group, as it were.
Latrice Royale - She’s either going to go far or bottom out early on. She’s like a 6’7” 400 black queen who’s been to jail and looks terrifying, meant in the best possible sense.
Sharon Needles - THE WINNER. Hands down. Holy shit - she’s AS amazing as we speculated. Two things I could see working in her favor: some Marilyn Manson-realness and the fact that her drag is SO specific, it might box her in i.e. Ongina. That said - SHE CAME IN WEARING A WITCHES’ HAT IN THE INITIAL MEET-&-GREET.
Second Tier
Lashauwn Beyond - Bitch can SEW. I thought her outfit was unbelievable, and was really surprised the judges weren’t over the moon about it. That said… tsk tsk tsk… child didn’t know a.) what ‘apocalyptic’ meant or b.) how to pronounce it (“Acocaclyptic”)…
Phi Phi O’Hara - Probably has more to her than the first episode let on, and is also the most attractive boy hands down. Came off as nothing more than a shady bitch the first episode out of the gate… that said, I probably felt similarly to Manilla after the first episode as I do about her…
The Princess - Interesting looks, but is like a second-rate Sharon as far as I’m concerned… could end up being very low-rate after a strong early showing a-la Phoenix…
Milan - Serviceable black queen. Doesn’t stand out right now, but who knows.
Bottom Tier
Dida Ritz - Black tranny hooker a-la Akashia from Season 1. Great body and flare, but needs to get it TOGETHER.
Jiggly Caliente - A mess. One you sympathize with, but a fucking MESS.
Madame LaQueer - Plus-sized old-world queen who came in wearing a Paige Davis wig.
Alisa Summers - I don’t even remember who she is.
Unto Their Own
Willam - This season’s Shangela. That’s it.
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